


and we're lucky

by gyeomiebear



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Fluff, Late night talks, Light Angst, Self-Indulgent Canonverse, Sort of drunken confession
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:14:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22158409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyeomiebear/pseuds/gyeomiebear
Summary: the last week of summer, a bucket of chicken, six pack cans of beer, a pair of wandering souls spilling their hearts out to each other, and a long night to get them through it.
Relationships: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. i. i got you

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know if this fic is even ao3 worthy but just putting this out here because my page feels empty lol.  
> also, written back in late 2017, posted valentine's day 2018 in aff (because i'm a sap)  
> 

**_2016_ **

the winds are changing as august comes to a close; the summer solstice in exchange for the autumnal equinox. two wandering souls have not grasped the summer heat in their fingers for too long having been stuck in hotel rooms, dance halls, and airports for the duration of the season, so they decide to go out and see the last week of summer together over beer cans and a bucket of chicken.

it's not the first time they head over to yeouido park to catch up on life matters. the same way they haven't been friends the first time around. they've spent the first half of the year casually keeping in touch with each other already, but unexpected meetings on park walks after a long day led to more than one coincidental meetings after that.

by the third time, at dusk on one spring day, it's no longer coincidence that led their feet to the same place with the same burdens behind their backs, both coming to a point to be accountable with each other from then on.

the boy breathes in the scene before him: people of all generations doing all sorts of recreational activity out in the open as they unwind the last of their summer nights. he too was a part of the scene as he sat under a quilt on top of the grass plain with a warm bucket of chicken beside him.

by his left, a group of youth gather over a pair of girls busking with soft acoustic music that set the tone of the atmosphere.

by his right, children and their parents fly kites with tiny led lights attached to them, lighting up the surface of the dark sky with flashing colors. friends and couples of all ages were scattered all over the park, having picnics and bringing their dogs along. food carts littered around some parts of the park, the smell of soondae and street foods of all kinds linger in the air.

and finally, the serene han river fronting the park with an array of lights reflecting from the cityscape before it.

the large and fast life he's living in is a harsh contrast to what he's experiencing with all five of his senses right now. he's thankful more than anything that he's living both a comfortable and uncomfortable life with music as the soul of it all, but nights like this out in the carefree open with no one really paying attention to him are a special kind of healing for him.

and he can't wait to share another night with her like this as all the other nights they've shared the past two months after too much coincidences.

two lost souls stripping off the toxicity that clung to them for days and months on end. maybe years even.

he takes out his phone from his pocket with the intent of capturing the view before him and hums to one of the tunes he's heard a while ago from the buskers at the park.

he was simply wearing a hoodie, sweats, and a pair of slide slippers in the colors of grey and black clothing him. he contently smiled to himself as he swiped it to video mode instead to record the comforting experience of yeouido park while he waits for his friend to make an appearance.

shortly after, a girl clad in the same fashion as he is, enters the frame of his video—her long black hair softly whipped by the summer breeze in all sorts of directions.

seeing her on nights like this after a long day is like a person coming home from a tiring day being greeted with the unfailing comforting and happy presence of their pet dogs and puppies as soon as they step one foot inside their doors. or even cats. but her, she can be a puppy.

he doesn't stop recording but grins harder at the soft sight of her from afar.

but as she comes closer every second, he notices the funny look on her face and the dreaded object on her hands.

"i didn't think you were serious about the beer!" hoseok, one of the lost souls with bright eyes, utter in pure disbelief while staring ahead of the girl who stopped in front of him. with the 6 pack beer cans on hand and a smirk on her dewy bare face, she does a tiny cheerleader dance using them as makeshift pompoms to joke around with him.

"you think i'll only let you bring the good stuff? besides, you said to bring drinks. nothing is as better as the chicken and beer combo."

she settles down by the picnic blanket hoseok was already sitting on and places the beer in the space beside the chicken bucket. he puts his phone aside now that seungwan, another lost soul with a bright smile, has arrived.

"you're drinking all of that." hoseok narrows his eyes at her.

seungwan provokes him, "why? scared you'll get drunk and humiliate yourself?"

"huh, dream on, son. but you're not getting anything from me tonight! hey, weren't you in that hello counselor episode where one of the guests had problems with her husband for drinking all the time? i clearly remember you opposing the husband's defense, but what's this now?"

"hobi, come on! this is a different case and it's only for tonight! this calls for a celebration for the both of us anyway: your tour is ending, my group's comeback is getting nearer and nothing bad is gonna happen and if there is, you'll be taking care of me, right?"

she offers him one of the beer cans with a challenging smile.

"with you wanting me to get drunk? let's see who takes care of each other first."

they both laugh at each other's ridiculousness as he takes the beer can from her hand.

about asking each other how they are, they put it off for the meantime as they know for themselves how they were. hence, the reason why they meet like this.

they instead bicker and at the same time admire each other's new hair colors as their way of saying 'long time no see'.

hoseok's hair was a new color, a subdued copper tone that matches his golden skin, and seungwan thinks the color says a lot about his upbeat personality.

she has to admit to herself, it's bringing out a certain glow in him that made her heartstrings twinge in bliss.

but she also wants to be mean to him about it because they're friends. what kind of friends don't make fun of each other?

"hobi, your hair's dying. i can feel how much bleach you'd have to go through to get that shade." seungwan shrugs chewing on a crunchy chicken leg.

"yoongi hyung's head has been through worse, mine's just one less bleach step. you should see yours, it's dying too."

hoseok shrugs too, pointing out her new black hair that made her face shine better. he would want to tell her that badly right now, but maybe some other time.

or maybe later, when he feels the situation calls for it.

"yeah, my hair suffered too much already. the red hair makes me feel like a bomb as a certain someone once said."

"yah! i meant that as a compliment! you know, taehyung decided to get red because you were his role model. tsk, when will i ever be his?"

seungwan laughs at the mention of taehyung. the wide eyed wonder boy who is part innocent and part not quite, but his childish purity is the one thing that makes him much more endearing.

"well, i guess you have try harder to be cool like me." she playfully flips her hair with a proud smile.

"hey, when was i never cool?" he glares at her and she apologizes by lightly punching his arm.

"just kidding, hobi! but honestly, this hair color suits you a lot!"

she reaches to ruffle his hair and smiles at him with puffy cheeks, food filling both sides of her mouth.

she looked like a whole chipmunk, hoseok resisting the urge to squish her cheeks since she was still eating.

he felt like a neon light the first time he came out of the salon, but later on it was setting out to become a better shade and he felt good with his hair.

once seungwan stopped chewing he didn't stop himself from squishing her cheeks, the bewilderment in seungwan's face undoubtedly showing.

"do you know how cute you look in black hair?! and your puffy cheeks! you look like a gerbil and you're just too cuuute!"

hoseok grits his teeth at her.

"oww, hobi! you sound like a grandma! and my cheeks are sensitive right now, thanks to you!" seungwan whined at him, kicking his knee.

"want me to kiss it to make it better?" he grins cheekily at her rubbing mindlessly at the light pain she caused on his knee.

"why are you so weird, hobi?" she frowns at him and he claps in laughter at her reaction.

this is how they were on their healing nights, lighthearted beatings from seungwan and endless teasing from hoseok, but it's all in good fun.

"but taehyung's weirder though, he had to call you in an ungodly hour to tell you about his red hair right?"

why did it suddenly feel strange to mention taehyung when they usually talk about all the members?

as for her being the child's role model, she recalls the time taehyung gave her a surprise call in the middle of the night just to tell her he got the same shade of red as her for Fire promotions.

and that was all he said.

he didn't wait for her to say anything else but bid her good night in a jiffy too.

the eccentricity that is kim taehyung will always baffle her but she doesn't question it either.

"don't remind me. seulgi and i still talk about it sometimes you know. i guess he takes on you after all! awww, see? you're his role model all along!" she praised him jokingly.

"alright, alright! i'm owning up to it. and excuse me, while i go get myself water because someone forgot to bring one! she didn't even think of my wellbeing. how could you seungwan?"

"you're so weak jung! i should buy you a whole case of beer on your birthday next time!" she winks and clicks her tongue sending him a finger gun.

hoseok cracked up but he turned his back on her quickly walking away from her as he felt warmth spread across his face.

it was pretty much a friendly gesture but the crush he's had on her for a long time affects him in the smallest ways possible.

ah, so that also explains why he felt a little iffy talking about taehyung, but he was his brother, so he reprimands himself for thinking of useless things.

yes, he wasn't one to deny his crush on her if asked and his members even know about it more than he does for himself.

although they never push him to do anything about it, they're at ease knowing hoseok can figure it out for himself.

he comes back with two bottles of water and two sticks of soondae but he eats one on the way so he's only left with one.

hoseok stops about four feet away from her and randomly waves at her with his soondae stick and water bottles.

"i'm on my second can already. what are you still doing there?" seungwan cocks her head to the side staring at him.

suddenly, he bursts out into a silly choreography for her involving the objects in his hand, waving, popping, locking, and with additional noises he always likes to make.

seungwan's never been more embarrassed for the both of them and she runs a hand on her face because of it.

"you haven't even drank half of your beer and you're acting drunk already! i'm gonna need to collect you right now."

she stands and walks up to drag him back to their picnic blanket only to have her chase him around, him in fits of laughter and her on the edge of flaring her nose.

seeing that she was already getting tired, he runs to her and apologizes for being a little hyper than usual.

"okay, i'll stop now. please don't get tired of me yet wanie." he's still laughing as he walks the both of them back to their picnic blanket, but the words he said had a weight to it.

sensing this, seungwan felt guilty for the unintentional mood she gave off. she gives his arm a squeeze and smiles up at him, all traces of tiredness fading off of her face.

"jung hoseok, i won't but...can we just eat in peace, please?"

she will be tired of many things but she would never be tired of him. not even for a bit.

she cherished every moment spent with him because someone like hoseok is worth treasuring.

she cherished every moment spent with him because they only have so much time to make the most out of, which wasn't very often.

he grins at her patting her head as they settle down.

the silly boy hands her the bottle of water but he witholds the soondae stick from her so he can feed her with it instead.

"say 'ah' wan-wan." he says with an aegyo tone. she wants to cringe really but she lets it pass biting into the stick to shut him up.

he doesn't though, as he coos at her again saying "aigoo, good wan-wan! have another bite!"

she rides along with an aegyo tone as well, taking the soondae stick from him and nears it to his mouth.

"thank you very much sweet hobi, here you go, you have a bite too!"

hoseok blinks at her and holds back another laughter bubbling from the pit of his throat.

no doubt, even if she didn't try, she was already too adorable, hoseok thought.

"hobi! i'm trying hard here, you know that!" she whines but laughs at herself too.

and they both lose themselves in their own joy.

"i didn't—i was just...amazed! please do more of that for me, wan-wan." he shakes his head, a huge grin still intact.

seungwan gives him a firm no and shares the soondae with him to distract him.

"this is bad for our diets you know." hoseok says with his mouth full.

seungwan only shrugs knowing she's gonna get in trouble later with her manager but they very well needed this form of escape.

food. since when had their world decided to treat it as a form of vice? for her part of the world at least.

"guilty pleasure at its best. and why aren't you drinking your beer?" seungwan nudges him, genuinely curious this time.

"i have low alcohol tolerance wanie. what about yourself?"

"i don't know. i guess we'll find out tonight." she chugs down the last of her second beer and reaches for her third one.

hoseok can only chuckle at her, praying that she won't waste herself away.

among all the other nights they've been meeting over together, he's got the feeling tonight is going to be different.

with the beer she brought over when it could have been sprite or simply water, he knows seungwan wants to stay even later throughout the night than their usual.

and late nights entail a lot of deep talks, sheer honesty, and quiet promises.

it's more than alright for him. that way, he'd know her better and they'd discover more about each other for one more night. every time spent with her on the phone, backstage, or anywhere at all even if they were the briefest of moments was a source of comfort for him.

as they continue eating, they reminisce over how their friendship began.

ironically, taehyung was the key to it as he was the only one brave enough to get the girls' numbers.

he even hid this fact from his fanboy members for over a month long before getting caught by them.

it's so he could show off how much of a better fan he was even though he wasn't quite so. surely, he got a 'brotherly' beating after that.

one can't deny taehyung's supposed indirect help though for if it wasn't for him they wouldn't have made a move at all, intimidated because they were the kids from sm.

seungwan scoffs at hoseok for his lame reason. there was nothing intimidating about them at all.

they were dorky girls themselves and since like attracts like, they'd eventually cross another dorky group's path, namely bangtan sonyeondan.

so they did and it was a fun kind chaotic together with them.

they both expressed how appreciative they were about this, smiling and laughing every time they mention each member and their up-to-no-good shenanigans.

it comes us a mutual feeling to the both of them: how their members were the only people they have and how they'd give anything to make them happy because it makes them happy too.

but it takes a toll on them sometimes, just giving and giving.

often, they get less in return or nothing at all.

but they both think, if no one else is giving, then who would?

it's safe to say, then.

that they both mirror each other so well like this, which is why they're as comfortable as they can be around each other. like they've known each other their whole lives. like they just get each other.

then, it's safe to say that they've got each other.


	2. ii. here with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> both chapters inspired by samantha jade's [nine](https://open.spotify.com/track/1GETkVccNUQgoP0Ow9s7Gy?si=oEbDSQ52R8qekPO2ydPO5g) \- song rec from wendy

as the night moves along, the families that flew kites have decided to call it a night and the pair of buskers move on to a different part of the park, subtracting from the scene. but the pair of wandering souls don't intend to move along as they immerse themselves in their own little world until the next few hours.

people watching. it was nice just watching the remaining people around them as they sip their beers together in comfortable silence.

"it's nice like this."

"like what?"

seungwan starts lying down on her back, finishing her fourth can of beer, while he hasn't even finished his first one yet.

"like this. no cameras. you and me, in the midst of people doing their own thing like we are. being out in the open and just actually being free for once."

seungwan acknowledges hoseok's sentiments with a small chuckle.

"it's nice like this too." she says with a yawn.

"like what?" he yawns as well and he earns a glare from his small friend because of it. he wasn't bothered by it the least bit, in fact, he was smiling softly at her patting the crown of her head.

"the quietness of all this. just the two of us, where people actually don't care about us too much for once. not having to meet anyone's expectations even just for a night. where we can't hear from people that we need to be happy all the time."

hoseok looks at her. feels that he should let her go on, so he waits for a few seconds. but what she said next didn't add up to what her mouth spilled out earlier.

"soooyeah, you still drinking these?" her words are close to slurring as she reaches for her fifth beer can.

"yah, wh-are--are you drunk already?" hoseok says alarmedly as he tries to take the beer away from her.

she slaps his hand away and pouts at him, "pfft, iii'm not."

"wah, wow, what's this? are you actually expecting me to take care of you?"

"and why-ie not? aren't you my oppa by three days? i-ie think it's time you start acting like-a one!"

hoseok pauses and mulls over her drunken words and serious expression.

"wow, am i lucky enough to be a witness to this for the second time tonight? wendy of red velvet, A K A, the aegyo fail master actually doing an aegyo perfectly when she's drunk and even calling me oppa on top of that? oh god, i've been blessed."

he clutches at his heart as he's trying to relate to her inebriated self but doesn't miss the chance to mean what he says. his heart caught on to the 'oppa' he was sure he'd never hear from her in his lifetime, but he actually did.

"hey, i'm not an eggyolk fail master. i cook eggs really well," she says in full english while frowning at hoseok.

eggyolks and aegyo.

he loses himself in hysteric wonderment at her mindlessness ultimately falling on his back.

seungwan glares at him now speaking in their native language.

"yah, what did i say? why are you laughing?"

"oh, seungwan, i never thought you'd be this adorable!"

"why-ie? and why are you still laughing?"

"because you're adorable! that's why!" he wheezes and wipes the joyous tears from his eyes.

"hmmm? tch, i wish i was." seungwan shakes her head and pouts even more closing her eyes now.

she rolls on her side in a fetal position and hugs the beer can to her chest.

hoseok melts at the sight. her cheeks donning that drunk blush, the loose fit of her jacket making her look smaller than she already is, and her dark soft locks that fell on her mouth.

it was instinctive, that hoseok moves a little closer to her side. his hand sweeps away her hair to the back of her neck so he could get a better look at her face.

she didn't have any makeup on save from the light lip color she wore but her barest beauty was what tugged at his heart the most. if she was already beautiful from afar, who would have known she was a true angel up close?

she was effortlessly beautiful, most especially in this purest state.

he takes all the time he can to look at her. simply looking at her.

her lips were parting slightly to breathe from her mouth and her body moves by an inch to snuggle more into the warmth of the quilt beneath them.

she must have been so hard on herself, he observes.

she looks like a few inches thinner than before as her once puffy cheeks have flattened by a fraction.

her eyes are closed still but she wasn't sleeping and he knows that. he picked up on the tone of her voice when she doubted his unadulterated admiration for her.

hoseok mindlessly holds the side of seungwan's head, sweeping his thumb over to part the bangs on her forehead, and he holds his breath at the contact his fingers made.

they have never been close like this before but something about this moment they're sharing doesn't feel wrong at all. he doesn't stop smoothing his thumb over the skin on her forehead and she doesn't shy away at all. and he can't help but want to ask her something that will calm his aching heart for her.

"seungwan?"

"mm?"

he asks the question he's always wanted to ask the first time he's known her.

"how many guys in your company have ever acknowledged or called you pretty?"

he doesn't know why he asks this when seungwan is almost drunk enough to hold a proper conversation with him, but it doesn't surprise him when she responds a short yet fitting answer to his vague question.

"hrmmm, a lot?"

"oh."

"why?"

why? he wants to be honest this time. and selfish too.

because he's fallen for her already.

he decides it should be more than just a crush. not that is should, but it already _is._

but when...and how?

he doesn't know but he feels it's been that way ever since she officially came out into the world of glittery and shallow entertainment.

she was weightless bliss and sunshine eyes, the first time around, kind of like him too.

in his vision of red and black, she was a refreshing burst of blue that recolored his perspective of the dark world he was plunged into.

hoseok wasn't a greedy person, not at all. he was always content with everything that he's got. but having met seungwan and having her presence in his life sort of elevated his definition of contentment.

she was like a mirror of him, seeing pieces of himself in her as well as seeing new things of himself in her.

and when there's something off about him, she was someone who was able put it back in its place and he'd be okay again.

he can't say it's just _something_ about her when it's _all_ of her that's put him on like this.

and he wishes, no, he wants that no other guy in their present situation has ever looked at her the way he does. not as deep as he feels for her. he wants them to be only shallow and dense.

"i thought i'm the only one who thinks you're pretty."

he says, his hands moving down to her cheek this time and softly pads his thumb over the softness of her skin. seungwan lets him and even accommodates more of the warmth his palms were emitting as she moves her cheek closer to his hold. hoseok's breathing isn't getting any sturdier.

"hmm? thank you...hob-iee, for being...mmm...the first one to say that directly."

she sounds sad that nobody acknowledges her beauty right in front of her face, but hoseok's heart jumps in victory when she said he was the first one to be vocal about it. and when he means it, there's no room for hesitation.

"i mean it, you're naturally beautiful."

hoseok emphasizes it as he presses the slightest force of his thumb on her cheek.

"and i hope you'll always remember that for yourself, seungwan." he continues, the distance between them getting smaller as he inches ever so closely at every word he says.

seungwan still doesn't open her eyes but she moves closer by a few inches so that their noses were almost touching.

"and...you're honestly amazing yourself...hoseok."

warmth spread all over him. it sounds too good to be true when she says it, even though she smelled like malt and alcohol, but people say that drunk people tell the truth and only the truth.

"no lie?" he has a sad smile on his lips and his hand find its way to knead his fingers through her silky locks, causing her head to move even closer, their noses now pressed against each other.

"not a single lie. so tell me...h-how do you stay amazing?" her voice cracks at the question and a tiny sob escaped her lips, the beer from her hands fall away.

and there was silence for a while. hoseok thinks about their transparency towards each other and how there was no fear when they reveal themselves to each other.

when most people around them thought they have nothing to hide, they were merely at the surface. they only knew j-hope of bts and wendy of red velvet.

they don't know the hoseok and seungwan that hides their deepest pain in the brightest of smiles and laughter.

they don't know the hoseok and seungwan that deals with insecurities like these.

it saddens him even more that his mirror is about to break into pieces and he can't have that.

he wants to put her back into place but he doesn't know how.

"seungwan?" his breath ghosts over the space between her nose and lips.

"mmhmm?"

"i think we should get you home."

it was dumb. he knows it's dumb because he can't help her the way he wants to if he takes her home now but he was waiting for her to say something else.

"do you want me to go home?"

no, of course not. it's too soon. why would he let her?

"what if i say yes?"

he moves his hand to her chin now, his fingers caressing it delicately.

"then i don't think you're being honest, hoseok."

her eyes flutter open and there are tears at the brim of falling. it pains him that she was holding in everything just like him.

"seungwan, you know it's okay to cry right?"

she nods once and the tears roll down by his word.

her whole frame shook as sobs break out from the pits of her lungs so he holds her, embraces her, in hopes that she won't completely fall apart.

her face presses against his neck, soaking it with warm tears that run down to the collar of his sweater.

he doesn't mind at all, he's all for her in her dullest days and would love it more than anything if they trusted each other like this.

when her sobs quiet down, she detaches her face from his neck and apologizes for the mess she gave him.

"don't be. i'll always be right here with you."

he dabs his thumb gently on the rims of her eye lids to wipe the last of her tears away. she smiles at the gesture but as soon as she looks into his eyes, she couldn't find it in herself to look away.

not when there was fondness and something else she can't put a finger on and she didn't want to miss it.

without a blink, she inches closer until their noses touch again.

"hobi?" she whispers.

"yeah?" his fingers strokes her cheek and she gulps.

"w-why are you looking...at me...like that?" her speech was still stuttering under the influence of alcohol but hoseok finds it adorable. she was honest, vulnerable, and raw and he liked all of those things when it comes to her, but now that she's intoxicated, it showed even more.

"like what?"

"like th-that...i don't know how to explain it." her hand blanket over hoseok's hand on her cheek and he visibly breathes unsteadily.

hoseok doesn't speak up for a few moments, just continues to hold her soft curious gaze, stroking her cheek.

"something like adoration?"

when seungwan thought her heart was palpitating because of the alcohol, her heart beat twice faster at his seemingly ambiguous response.

"hobi...don't play with me. i-i know i'm tiipsyy but that doesn't...gi-give you the right to play me like thiss."

she doesn't have a clear resolution yet of what she feels for him but maybe if he says something, she'll align herself with him. if it would hurt her or make her happy, it's okay, as long as he decides to always be present in her life.

'cause if he looks at her like this, like she was the only one that mattered, she could be hopeful, but then again she was slightly drunk and she would have to guard her heart first more than anything.

"i'd joke around with you as much as i would seungwan, but if it's the matter of my feelings for you, i. would. never."

there. he said it and he moves back a little bit, his heart on the edge of bursting and seungwan feels a little scared that he pulled away from her.

"what do you mean?" she shuts her eyes, too sensitive at the little things that don't go her way, though hoseok's hand remains on her face.

"you don't get it, do you? seungwan, when i see you, even so much as think of you, i wish you were already mine now."

she lightly gasps at this and opens her eyes again to see that hoseok was smiling at her with a relieved smile.

"then...why can't you have me now?" seungwan searches his eyes again.

this time he touches her forehead with his and chuckles.

they both know the answer but if there's anything else, she wants to know too.

"you just don't know how much i want to. i'd always have you with me if i _only_ could."

"can you prove it? even for a fleeting moment?"

"seungwan."

"i'm sorry, y-you don't have to."

"that's not what i meant. but...is that how little you think that i feel for you when you're bigger than that?"

he sincerely grins at this, his heart pounding so hard because he's not the only one with these feelings.

"then, make it last, please."

and he can't believe this is the reality he's sharing with her now, so he only shows her how big she is to him, how important, priceless, and how wonderful a person she is to him and that she deserves love and only love.

it's then that he kisses her sweetly, tenderly, preciously, all of his heart poured into it as he holds her tight.

she puts in as much effort as he does, murmuring in between kisses how it feels so wrong but so right. hoseok only chuckles into their kiss, caring less that she tasted like alcohol but minding more that she tasted like the sweetest of sweets just like he always thought she would. and he was already wanting more of it.

she runs her hand on the back of his hair, tugging lightly on the strands of his scalp, and they both can't help but tighten their hold on each other, legs tangling and breathing disarray.

seungwan whines a little when hoseok detaches his lips from her only to latch it on to her jaw kissing every part with the utmost care he could muster, enough that he wouldn't go beyond the line but still keeping the both of them feel loved.

"seungwan...t-tell me to stop, please." but he keeps adorning her neck with short and quick sweet kisses.

she sighs, hesitantly removing her hand from his hair and hoseok relaxes, slowing down his kisses.

seungwan slowly places both of her hands on his cheeks and hoseok pecks her neck one last time before moving his head to meet her hooded eyes and chastely kiss her lips.

breathless, she looked at him with satisfaction and sadness all at once but she smiles genuinely, softly putting their heads together.

they start to speak at the same time so that earns them a small laugh from each other.

"you go first, hobi." she swipes her finger on the outline of his upper lip, mesmerized at the shape of his smile and that cute little mole sitting on top of his right lip.

"you keep doing that and i won't stop anymore." he pecks her finger and smirks, bringing seungwan to retract her hand and place it beside his heart this time. hoseok slowly exhales at the warmth of her palm.

"damn, i haven't confessed properly, have i?" hoseok grins brightly now intertwining his fingers with hers.

"what? then...what did you call that a while ago?" seungwan narrows her eyes at him.

"i don't know. making out?"

she gives him a huge smack in his chest and he laughs uncontrollably.

"hoseok! what the hell?!"

"you asked and i just answered! but seriously, i...wanna say it properly. so will you let me?"

he holds her gaze unwaveringly and she wordlessly tells him to go on.

"son seungwan, i like you. no, scratch that...i'm actually in love with you."

and with a smile he presses his lips to her temple making her giggle.

"hoseok jung."

"wow, have i ever told you how good my name sounds when you say it?" he bites his bottom lip to keep from smiling, but as always, he'll fail when it comes to her.

"ugh, do you have to ruin the mood?!"

"sorry, can't help it. i can't help it when it comes to you." he buries his nose in the crown of her head and it tickled her causing her to giggle again.

"stoh-op, okay. i get it. so would you let me take my turn?"

hoseok readies his heart and tries to restrain his smile but he just can't.

"hoseok jung. you're one of...the kindest people to ever...exist on this earth and i can't believe that you were born...in the same lifetime as me." seungwan's eyes were filled with adoration for him. she made sure that she doesn't stutter on this taking the time to say her words carefully despite her inebriation.

"and we're just three days apart!" he quips cheerfully.

"god, yes, three freaking days apart! are you sure you're not my long lost twin though?"

he frowns seriously, "seungwan, no, that sucks."

"kidding! but jokes aside. i think...no, i'm sure that i feel...the same way as you do. maybe...even more, who knows?"

she said with a shy smile all the while just memorizing each other's faces with their love filled eyes.

she's sure now, because he was sure too.

it doesn't matter who loved each other first as long as they have the same amount of heart for each other, that's all she cares about.

"argh, why does your confession sound so good? you should have gone first if i knew mine is paler in comparison." hoseok scrunches his nose.

seungwan judges him, "are we even arguing about that jung?!"

"no. we don't need to. i'm good. we're good." he smirks and adjusts both of their positions so that seungwan's upper half was lying on top of his torso.

they embrace each other like that for a while, his arms hugging her waist and her arms splayed across his chest, both their breaths rising and falling soundly.

what they are and what this is, it feels natural despite the unbalanced world around them.

22 sounds like a good time to fall in love anyway.

seungwan shifts to lift herself up from hoseok's chest and look at him.

"yes?" he raises his brows at her.

she feels that it's getting late already but time moved too fast for them just when they started holding each other's hearts in a deeper way.

"take me home now?"

she wants him to say no and so he did.

"we can stay a little longer. i just got confessed to by the girl that i've been liking for so long already. i can't let her go yet, not when i won't be able to see her for another month."

"that sounds horrible, hobi, what the hell?"

"but it's the naked truth, isn't it?"

she falls silent and broods over it. truth is truth. they can't do anything that they're celebrities that can't hold time in their hands.

"i-i feel like the timing isn't right." seungwan sighs and hoseok's grip on her waist tightens. he brings one of his hands to her cheek as a gesture of assurance.

"that's partly true, but if we can push through it, i don't think there's any better time than now, am i right?"

he gives her chin and cheek a lasting kiss turning her into a fuzzy mess of blushes and butterflies.

"we've got to trust each other more now, yeah?"

seungwan eagerly nods to this but something else is bothering her too.

"wait."

"what?"

"god, wait! you're lying!" seungwan glares at him so hard and pouts. hoseok doesn't know what to focus on: her sudden outburst or her cute drunken self acting up again. she was spontaneous and he loved it.

"about what, seungwan?!" he exclaimed, face startled.

"y-you like someone already...and she's not me." she starts shifting herself away from hoseok but he was quick to change their positions so that she wouldn't move away from him.

"hoseok, what are you—" she was pinned under him and hoseok looked at her with worried eyes.

"what are you talking about?" hoseok's heart pinched when she wouldn't look him in the eye.

seungwan purses her lips, shaking her head.

"nothing. i-it's noothiiing. i was thinking of someone else, sorry."

"that's the most terrible lie you can ever come up with, seungwan. come on, tell me."

"it's nothing! you don't have to bother."

but hoseok knows better when she looks flustered and a bit frustrated. someone else? is she dreaming? he couldn't think of anyone else at all. no one came to mind, not even probably his own members. she was all there is that mattered right now.

"do i have to kiss you to make you spill it?" he challenges her which flusters seungwan even more.

"no! not that i--no, hoseok, it was someone else, i'm sorry."

a quick kiss on her cheek.

"hoseok!"

a quick kiss on her nose.

"hobi, stop--"

a prolonged kiss on her lips.

"i don't mind wasting our time doing this but it's up to you if you're gonna tell me or not."

hoseok stares at her endearingly before diving in to kiss her lips again, but only to be stopped by seungwan's hand on his mouth.

"alright hobi! i swear...you're just...trying to make me feel bad." he was being patient with her. he knows how it feels firsthand to get compliments only to actually make him feel miserable in the end. but he would never do that to her. god, he wouldn't even try as much as think of it.

"seungwan, tell me. i really don't know what you're talking about. please?"

"how can you--ugh, okay, look...i just overheard from...one of your fans while i was in this...cafe. they said something about you."

seungwan looks away from hoseok when she finds that he was hanging onto every word she says.

"what about me did you hear?"

"something about mmnash."

"about what?!"

"hoseok, forget it. i don't wanna talk about this!" she wants to run away. she was being a toddler at this point with her wishy-washy insecurity.

"nash? you mean tinashe?" he gauges her.

seungwan just blinks at him devoid of emotion, successful at hiding her pettiness away.

"seungwan, what about her? are you--"

"no! it's not, ugh, hoseok, i already told you to forget it."

but there was a glint in her eyes that betrayed her poker face.

hoseok holds her face dearly and brushes his nose against hers with a smile. silly seungwan, she's actually worried about someone who doesn't have any involvement with him and like he said, he couldn't even remember his own members in her presence. and he wouldn't dare compare anyone else to seungwan.

"seungwan. don't. i love you and who is she to me anyway. it's only you and always has been you. i swear. i'll go and dip myself in the river right now if you won't believe me."

"tch, you're just saying that." but she can't deny the warm fizzle in her stomach when he said 'i love you'.

"seungwan, don't you trust me?" it's hoseok's turn to pout at her and she feels guilty.

"okay, let's forget we ever talked about this." she lightly pushes him away from her and he lets her but not before giving her one more reassuring kiss to put her doubts away and sneaking in a 'love you wan'. she shyly smiles and it tugs at hoseok's heart even more.

they naturally fell back into their original position, holding each other side by side, not keeping their eyes away from each other.

he doesn't want to pressure her but he thinks about his own insecurities too.

"what about me, seungwan?"

"hmm?"

"there's no one else right?"

seungwan chuckled at this. a while ago he's only ever been confident and cheeky, but like her, he voices out his nuisance of an insecurity. he doesn't have anything to worry about. not at all.

seungwan is trustworthy. who else can she give her heart to except someone who understands her the most? and hoseok? he's incomparable too. there's only him.

this time seungwan assures him as well, nuzzling her nose on his neck as she breathes him in.

hoseok has melted into a puddle at this point because all she does is keep surprising him.

"it's just you and me, hobi. me and you." she softly whispers in his ears and hoseok wants to keep her close like this.

thankfully, seungwan hears his unspoken words and stays like that, humming a sweet tune that made his ears tingle in pleasure.

it wasn't until seungwan reached the chorus when she started singing the lyrics that he realized it was one of his all-time favorite songs.

his breath got caught in his throat after she finished. it was actually a short song but it was meaningful to him in spite of.

it was an old rhythm-and-blues song, laid-back in sound, but the flowy vocals and narrative lyrics speak straight into his soul.

[ _soulstar_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsTBy69Mm38)

_oh, you've come so far_

_from where you've started_

_don't be afraid_

_to let your light_

_shine on the world_

to which the lyricist was singing that this is what the beautiful angel in his dream told him.

and the way honey dripped from seungwan's voice, she was the embodiment of that angel in that very song encouraging him to never dim his light.

above that, the fact that she remembered this from one of his passing song recommendation the last time he called her on the phone gripped his heart all the more.

"can i—" he doesn't need to ask anymore because he knows she'll give it to him any way he'd have it.

he was too overwhelmed and the only response he could give her to show his love was through a kiss.

and so she smiles into their kiss amused that hoseok's been having too many kisses on their first night as a couple.

it feels weird to say it like that and how she'd have to answer to people that she finally has a boyfriend.

she'll just have to get used to it because on the other side, hoseok probably won't shut up saying he finally has a girlfriend.

"haven't you...gotten enough kisses...tonight?" seungwan playfully glares at him as she pulls away.

"have i?" he simply smirks, looking at her with hypnotized eyes, to which she rolls her eyes at.

"you cheesy sap!"

"as if you're not! c'mere you!" he chuckles and gives her a bear hug, seungwan squirming in his arms and denying that she really isn't but it's useless because she's helplessly into him as he is to her.

they calm down with one more small laughter and hoseok takes out his phone and earpods from his pocket to show seungwan something he's been working on.

"i wanted to show you something by the way. it's still in the works but i wanna know what you think about it."

she nods willingly and he shares the earpods with her. he holds his breath in nervousness before playing the track.

he was chosen to do the intro track for their album this time and though he feels he's lacking compared to his co-rappers, he has to push himself to get out of his comfort zone in order to be in another level above his current self. which improved drastically over years of experience.

he observes her as she closes her eyes while getting immersed into the song.

it starts out with a dramatic eery sound transitioning into a verse with a percussion buildup.

seungwan rolls her head into small bops following the rhythm of the song.

the track he was sharing to her was only in its demo form as of yet but there was a kind of magic listening to its rawness anyhow.

the small girl faced him with an instant smile on her face when the song ended.

"hobi, what do you think about it?" she asked the question that's meant for her.

"aren't you supposed to answer this?"

"i know, but you're not...confident, are you?" she blinks at him and he shrugs.

their artistry always involves phases of confidence and shame; he's still under construction in the department of being fully confident of himself. doesn't everybody do?

"this is amazing, hobi, don't doubt yourself. i told you already, you're amazing. everything you do will always be amazing." her hands find its way to his to squeeze them and it's enough for him to know she'll always be _for_ him.

"but...the lyrics..." her hands hold his tighter and hoseok feels her inhale a deep ragged breath.

oh. the lyrics.

love was being akin to another name for the devil, or hell. that love, instead of being a form of freedom, became temptation.

for him to write lyrics that held such symbolism meant that he was well versed with the complications of romantic relationships.

it's true to a degree in their situation but his love for her?

it is not a concept. it is real. truth. as true as their existence on this broken bone of a world.

to him, seungwan is not temptation. she is an angel. a piece of heaven on earth.

"i wrote it. it's bittersweet, right? but it's just a concept, seungwan. it's for the album. i can't tell you much about it yet but this. this is the intro and pretty much explains what the album is going to be about." he smiles warmly at her and traps both her hands in his own. she only looks into his eyes exhaling this time.

"there's a choreography to it, i can show you a glimpse of it right now if you want." he shifts to sit up but seungwan pulls him back to the ground in her embrace.

"noooo, hobiee, stop dancing. you're tired and you...needa chill." she snuggles her head into his chest and the buzzing bees in his stomach just never stops torturing him.

"someone's a little clingy now, aren't we?" hoseok snickers gliding his hand on the top of her hair.

"ssshhhhh." she softly pats his side with her fingers.

it awes hoseok how for a small girl like her, she has a heart big enough to hold someone as big and messy as him—literally and figuratively.

it awes him how safe he can feel in between her small arms, holding all of him so lovingly and warmly so that he won't ever fall apart.

his playlist continues on softly in their ears as the night furthers on, them in each other's arms, talking about music and whatever else they've missed out on each other, occasionally laughing heartily and kissing each other's cheeks and forehead along the way.

they talk about their dreams of the future as if they were only beginning a life they never had.

they brainstorm on little plans for the both of them, future dating spots, hometown visitations, fashion coupling and many more. or future hair color matching, that's pretty unique they both say.

even couple matching clothes and accessories, no matter how cliché it already is, the thought of having to match with your other half will always be heartwarming.

no one is less or more than the other. both matching each other every step of the way.

matters of their groups' fate and once have-beens will always loom over them and they ponder on the measures they both have to take individually or together too.

"you know hobi..." she sighs for the umpteenth time tonight.

hoseok is worried but worrying won't get them anywhere. solutions and faith will.

"yeah?" he holds her precious face.

"did you somehow...know that we'd end up like this...tonight?" she says in contemplation.

it wasn't a hard question but it was something to really think about.

he figured it would be different than the past ones but this, he's been hoping for it to come later and not this soon.

if seungwan didn't ask too honestly earlier then he'd have gone home with a heavy heart again because he wasn't able to express the fullness of his adoration for her.

although most nights it was for the sake of being accountable with each other but deep inside him, he's always wanted to show the side of him that's reserved only for her.

well, he's finally got something to thank the beer she brought for.

"if it wasn't for you though, and the beer, then i'd end up going home with a broken heart again."

"''again'? what do you mean by that?" her brows furrow at him and he just gives her another one of his annoying grins.

"you always do that to me, wandie. start my night right but it always ends up with me going home feeling sad coz i didn't have the chance to tell you how much you _shined on me_." he twirls a lock of her hair in his fingers.

"did you just—jung hoseok, what are you up to?"

he just really referenced her lyrics in _happiness,_ did he?

"that's when it all started for me, wan-wan."

he pecks her nose that was scrunching at him in embarrassment. how more shameless can he get for her?

she couldn't help but feel flattered because that's been a long time already.

she couldn't comprehend how long someone's waited on her like this. it was undeserving of her, she felt.

she was but a simple person with nothing enchanting about her, that much she knew of herself.

for a star like him to say that she was shining on him instead and how even they became friends was something she still needed to grasp.

"hoseok, that's been so...long. i would never have..."

"it's okay, seungwan. i'm just really lucky, blessed actually, that...i have _you_. even if i just watched you from afar, just you existing is a gift to life itself."

she tears up and he'll never tire himself of wiping her tears away.

"i love you, hobi." she kisses him after that and hoseok has never felt more relieved than hearing those words come out from her own mouth.

lucky. it doesn't mean that it was all bright days ahead, but lucky was being in the midst of an indefinite reality and knowing your place.

and they were positive that they knew theirs.

and them? oh, they were lucky. very lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soulstar from musiq soulchild. song rec by j-hope.


End file.
